10 Ways You Should Never Break Up

What’s The Best Way To Break Up With Someone?

Ending a relationship is never fun, unless you are cold and heartless. Yet, life happens, and it has to be done. If you have ever been on the negative end of a break up, you know that there is a right way and a wrong way to end things.

Here are ten ways you should never break up with someone:

1. Never say, “God told me it’s time to break up with you.”

While it is true that God might tell you that you need to end a relationship, using the “God told me” card is not the best way to handle it.

For starters, what does this communicate to the person on the other end? Does God think you’re better than them; and consequently, He wants you to end it? This could easily give your ex, especially someone who’s young in the faith, a misleading view of who God really is.

Secondly, chances are, if you are hearing God tell you to get out of the relationship, He probably never told you to get into the relationship. This means you need to be an adult and bear the brunt of your decision.

 

2. Never say, “It’s not you; it’s me.”

Breaking up is messy. It’s never easy. When you try to soften the blow, you typically make matters worse. Everyone knows that this old break-up line is simply a cover-up.

If you are not emotionally prepared to end a relationship, then you should have never begun one. Breaking up doesn’t have to be done heartlessly. Be classy and honest. That’s the best way to face the challenge.

 

3. Never say, “I see you as more of a friend.”

Again, this just comes down to needing a cover-up. Why do you want to break up? Are you no longer attracted to them? While you should not tell your date that they’ve lost their physical appeal, lying is just as bad. The truth of the matter is, you are not obligated to give them an in-depth reason for ending the relationship. Out of courtesy, you ought to give some explanation, but it doesn’t have to be detailed.

 

4. Never get a friend to end your relationship.

If you’re in middle school, this may still be acceptable; but if you want to handle things like an adult, then your break-ups shouldn’t include a third party. Would it be easier to not face the awkward situation? For sure! But if you are going to be a person of character and integrity, you’ve got to handle this situation, not your friends.

 

5. Never break up in public.

It’s already going to be painful enough, but breaking up with someone in front of other people is like rubbing dirt in an open wound. You are not aiming to make the situation any worse than it already has to be. If you find that people are around whenever you plan to end the relationship, then postpone your plans and aim for the next available moment. Turn the tables and imagine being dumped by someone you really care about in front of other people. You would be humiliated, right? We all would. Do it without a bunch of people present.6. You should never break up over text.

 

6. You should never break up over text.

If you don’t care about your reputation and you just want a quick easy way out, this method is perfect for you. Hopefully, that’s not the case, and you are a person of strong character and integrity. If so, this method is not for you.

People who break up over text are typically just looking out for themselves. They don’t want to deal with any more pain than necessary.

Here’s the deal. Breaking up isn’t easy, nor should it be. Ending a relationship is not something that we should approach casually, even if it’s long overdue. You should have enough respect for both yourself and the person you’ve been with to handle a break-up with character. If you are going to call it quits, do it face-to-face.

 

7. Never try to let it die slowly.

First, you ignore their calls. Then, you “get called into work,” and before you know it you’re using whatever excuse you can think of to avoid them.

You can quickly find yourself running from the person you once ran to. If you have become emotionally detached from the relationship, don’t try to drag the commitment out.

First, it’s not fair to them; and second, you’ll be miserable. Sometimes people try to let the relationship die slowly because they genuinely don’t want to hurt the other person. Unfortunately, it’s inevitable. It’s how the dating world is designed. You must have the strength to close the curtain when the show is over, even if it hurts. Remember dating isn’t marriage; it’s ok to get out of the relationship.

 

8. Never try to get them to break up with you.

So, you’re too scared to throw in the towel, but you want out. What do you do? Do you let your date catch you sending flirty text messages to other people? What if you pick up some annoying habits? You know, things that really irk your date? Since you are too afraid to break up with them, maybe there’s something you could do to make your date break up with you.

Listen—this is completely ridiculous.

Save yourself the time and energy. As Mother always says, “You got yourself in this mess; you can get yourself out of it.” Don’t use them as your pawn. Act your age and end the relationship like an adult.

 

9. Never say, “I think we should take a break.”

No matter how much you try to soften the blow, when all is said and done, someone’s feelings are going to get hurt. If you really liked the person, you would not want to take a break.

Rather than beating around the bush, call it what it really is. This doesn’t mean you have to be rude or heartless, but you can’t afford to be misleading. If you are really done, then do not leave them with the hope that there could still be a future together. Don’t be passive; be direct. Being open, heartfelt, and honest are the best actions you can offer in this situation.

 

10. Never say, “I think we should see other people.”

There are a couple of problems this statement could communicate when breaking up. One, it could communicate that while in your current relationship, you have found someone else you are interested in. This is a major blow to your character. When you are in a relationship, be fully there.

Secondly, it could communicate that you are too weak to explain the real reason you are ready to move on and just wanted a cheap phrase to do the dirty work. Again, this speaks of poor character. If you are going to end the relationship, don’t use a cheap copout; just be gentle and honest.

 

Ending Things Right

Ending a relationship isn’t easy, but don’t let the discomfort of the present circumstance leave a lasting blemish on your character. While it may hurt in the moment, the best way to end a relationship is to communicate, through meekness and sincerity, why you are ready to move on. If you were courageous enough to get into the relationship, then guess what? You must be courageous enough to get out of the relationship. This advice will help you end the relationship on terms that will not jeopardize your reputation.

 

This blog is an excerpt from The Rules Of Romance Before Marriage

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