We’ve all heard the age-old saying, “Timing is everything,” but is timing everything when it comes to dating? Has God predestined a specific moment where He gives us the green light to date? Ecclesiastes 3:11a (NKJV) says, “He has made everything beautiful in its time,” but does this include dating?

Most often, those asking about God’s timing are believers whose most earnest desire is to live a life that is pleasing to God. Knowing God’s timing on when to date can seem a bit tricky. There is often a fog of confusion surrounding this idea because many have over-spiritualize it.

Can you know if it’s God’s timing for you to date?

Yes, but you do not have to wait for an audible voice to roar from heaven saying, “I grant you permission to date!”

That’s probably not going to happen.

Though you should always seek God’s will in all things, including dating, don’t get tripped up by the search itself. Keep it simple. Start by taking an open, honest evaluation of your personal condition.

Here are three reasons you probably shouldn’t date:

1. You should not date if you have an inconsistent walk with God.

As believers, there is no relationship more important than our relationship with Jesus. There is a belief that if we find “the one,” everything will fall into place. That is only a true statement if “the One” you are referring to is God. Until we are successful in our daily devotion to Christ, we will be unsuccessful in every other relationship.

2. You should not date if you do not know your self-worth.

We’ve seen more lives damaged that we’d like to admit because they missed this truth. She has low self-esteem; he has deep insecurities—both are broken. Two incomplete people make a complete person, right? Wrong!

The theory that says, “I’ll provide what you are missing, and you’ll provide what I’m missing,” creates only one thing—a problem! Until you understand how valuable you are to God, you will fight to find your value everywhere else, including a bad relationship.

3. You should not date if you are not rooted in a local church.

This is a death trap. An old African proverb says, “It takes a village to raise a child.” We would dare say it takes a church to raise a healthy relationship.

The first plague to strike most relationships is the plague of isolation. You’re head-over-heels in love. (You know what we’re talking about.) Everything else in the world fades away, and it’s just you and them. And that’s where it all starts to go wrong.

It’s true, we were designed to have only one significant other, but we were not designed to have only one relationship. We believe the secret key to healthy dating is being rooted in the local church. If you are not rooted in a community of believers, dating should not even be considered. If you want to find someone who will be faithful to you, look for someone who is faithful to the house of God.

If you are looking to know if it is God’s timing for you to date, evaluating your life in these three areas will point you in the right direction. If you are inconsistent in your daily devotion, have no understanding of your value in Christ, and are not rooted in a local church, then you should not consider dating. But once these areas are in order, the coast is clear. Get your date on!

*This blog is an excerpt from the book, The Rules of Romance Before Marriage

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Caleb and Ali live in East Tennessee where they serve at The Lift Church. With boldness and conviction, their deepest desire is to see the church revived and the world awakened. Learn more about The Lift by visiting theliftchurch.tv.