Am I Ready For Marriage?
Have you found the person you want to spend the rest of your life with? Ready to tie the knot? That’s great! Marriage is awesome, but it’s probably not what you have in mind. It’s not just sex; it’s not just romance. Marriage is sharing every aspect of your life with another individual. Don’t read this the wrong way. We believe in marriage! Hey, we believe in it so much that, for us, it only comes second to our commitment to Jesus. It’s a big deal, but it’s not always a bed of roses.
Have you found the person you want to spend the rest of your life with? Ready to tie the knot? That’s great! Marriage is awesome, but it’s probably not what you have in mind. It’s not just sex; it’s not just romance. Marriage is sharing every aspect of your life with another individual. Don’t read this the wrong way. We believe in marriage! Hey, we believe in it so much that, for us, it only comes second to our commitment to Jesus. It’s a big deal, but it’s not always a bed of roses.
Have you found the person you want to spend the rest of your life with? Ready to tie the knot? That’s great! Marriage is awesome, but it’s probably not what you have in mind. It’s not just sex; it’s not just romance. Marriage is sharing every aspect of your life with another individual. Don’t read this the wrong way. We believe in marriage! Hey, we believe in it so much that, for us, it only comes second to our commitment to Jesus. It’s a big deal, but it’s not always a bed of roses.
That’s why you must ask this question soberly and honestly. We want to help you know with certainty whether or not you are ready for this.
Here are three things to consider about marriage when determining whether or not you are ready to say “I do”:
1. Marriage is not temporary.
You are not signing a short-term commitment. The bond of holy matrimony is meant to last as long as you do. While you are both alive, your commitment remains. The vows that are made at the sacred altar of marriage are not weak, nor are they fragile. They cannot be easily broken.
Until you reach a place of certainty, knowing that you cannot reverse your commitment, you are not ready for marriage. Our pastors often quote Malachi 2:16, when taking couples through pre-marital counseling, reminding them that God said He hates divorce.
If you come from a home where your parents have separated, you, all the more, have to decide that divorce is not an option. While we were going through pre-marital counseling, we were challenged to make a commitment to eliminate the word “divorce” from our vocabulary when communicating with one another. We don’t even use the word in a joking or sarcastic manner. When telling others about the commitment we’ve made, we’ve been told on several occasions that we’re being a bit extreme.
You can’t afford to be casual towards this commitment. Until you understand how extreme this “until death do us part” decision is, you aren’t ready for marriage.
2. Marriage is not cheap.
Despite what the old country song says, you cannot live on love. No, you are going to need some groceries . . . and electricity . . . and some water. Oh, I almost forgot. You’re probably going to need a vehicle, as well. By the way, that vehicle won’t run without fuel, so you’ll need some gas, too. Unlike being single, all your daily living expenses double.
Marriage is expensive!
There will be seasons in your marriage that seem like you have to spend money every time you turn around. This means that prior to marriage, you must determine that you are financially compatible:
• Who is best at making a budget?
• Can you both agree on how to distribute your income?
• Do you trust the spending habits of the person you want to marry?
• How do you handle your personal finances now?
• Do you have a spending problem? (If you can’t control your money now, while you are single, you are not ready for marriage.)
Though uncomfortable, these questions are essential to starting off on the right foot. If you really believe you’ve found the person you want to spend the rest of your life with, we highly recommend you consider the costs of living within marriage. Make a budget, and see if you have the finances to sustain your future household. If your expenditures are more than your combined resources, you’re not ready for marriage.
If you really believe you’ve found the person you want to spend the rest of your life with, we highly recommend you consider the costs of living within marriage. Make a budget, and see if you have the finances to sustain your future household. If your expenditures are more than your combined resources, you’re not ready for marriage.
3. Marriage is not always glamorous.
Actually, it’s rarely glamorous. Ladies, you need to know that “happy weight” is real! The abs he has right now might not be there a few weeks after you say, “I do.” Guys, just a heads up; she doesn’t wake up with her make-up fixed and her hair in place.
Sometimes your home will be messy. The trash will be overflowing and the dishes piling up, yet you’ve made a commitment—and that commitment is meant to stand through the good and the bad.
You don’t have to resent the idea of less-than-glamorous moments; you just have to consider the reality that not every moment of your life and coming marriage is going to look like a scene from a Hollywood movie—and that’s ok!
Love is when you see your spouse at their worst, and you are still willing to give them your best. Until you can make that kind of commitment, you are not ready for marriage.
Love is when you see your spouse at their worst, and you are still willing to give them your best. Share on X
Are You Ready?
Have we talked you out of saying, “I do,” yet? We know these aren’t the most fun topics to discuss when considering marriage. They can seem like a real damper on the idea of marital bliss, but we can say this from experience: It’s better to address them now than wait until after you’ve made a lifelong commitment.
Though it was uncomfortable at the time, words can’t express how thankful we are that someone told us about the “not-so-pleasant” side of marriage.
When you’re ready, you will be willing to fully embrace the good and the . . . well, let’s just say not-so-good parts of this holy union called marriage.
This blog is an excerpt from The Rules Of Romance Before Marriage.
Caleb and Ali live in East Tennessee where they serve at The Lift Church. With boldness and conviction, their deepest desire is to see the church revived and the world awakened. Learn more about The Lift by visiting theliftchurch.tv.
