We are tackling the most asked questions regarding sex, dating and purity. If you have questions we’d love to know! CLICK HERE for a chance to be featured on an upcoming blog.
Question:
What is the appropriate way to dress to attract and impress someone you like?
The way you dress speaks volumes about you. Our entire lives we have heard, “You can’t judge a book by it’s cover.” This old saying holds significant truth in many arenas of life. However, dating is not one of them. We want to challenge you to do the exact opposite. People are visual. Our first impression is nearly always based upon what we see. Because of this reality, the way we dress and how we present ourselves is unbelievably important.
A few years ago a girl came to us seeking relationship advice. She could not understand why every guy she dated ultimately had one agenda, sex. Heartbroken she said, “Why can’t I just find someone that loves me for who I am without wanting my body?” Sadly, this girl came from a broken home, had poor examples of morality, and was simply modeling what had been modeled to her. There was one primary reason she could not get a man of integrity to show interest in her; her apparel was attracting a different crowd. “Daisy-Dukes” and revealing tops may catch the attention of a good man, but it will not keep it. Why? Because a person of integrity resists any opportunity that could potentially cost them their purity. While this girl genuinely had a heart of gold, her choice in clothing conveyed a much different message. Ever heard the phrase Dress The Part? It means to dress appropriately for the occasion. That’s the key. If you want to attract someone of integrity and purity then dress for that. Here are three key principles when it comes to the dating standard on dress:
A person of integrity resists any opportunity that could potentially cost them their purity. Share on X
1. Modest really is hottest.
For too long modesty has had a bad rap. It is not boring, mediocre, nor is it anti-fashion. If your choice of clothing is terrible it’s not because of modesty, it’s because of you. Men, what does your outfit say about you? Find your style and wear it with respect. Ladies, show the world that beauty does not negate clothing. True beauty does not have to show off skin. A revealing outfit is simply the result of an inward cry for attention. You are not cheap eye-candy. You are fearfully and wonderfully made!
2. If they do not value themselves, they will not value you.
We have all been caught off guard by someone in revealing attire. How do you respond to this kind of sexual appeal? The deal seems flattering upfront. The pedal is to the floor but before long, you’ll realize this vehicle has no brakes. It is certain to crash. There is only one reason people dress to appeal to others sexual appetite – they value someone else’s opinion more than they value the opinion they have of themselves. Sadly, this typically stems from past hurt and low self-esteem. Anyone that does not value their purity will not value your’s either.
Anyone that does not value their purity will not value your’s either. Share on X
3. If everyone else is doing it, you probably shouldn’t.
Compromise has been excused far too many times by the logic of, “If everyone else is doing it then it must be ok.” The value of something is often based upon its rarity. Do you want to be significant in a sexualized generation? Be unique, don’t follow the crowd. Men, stop trying to justify why it is ok to strut your stuff. Ladies, swimming pools are not an excuse to get undressed in public. If you are going to do what everyone else does, you are going to get what everyone else gets. You will have to settle for mediocrity when you were made for so much more. In 2 Corinthians 6, Paul instructs the church to come out from among the world and be separate. What better place to practice this command than in the realm of dating and purity? Let’s go for it!
If we choose to set a standard now, generations to come can avoid the struggles that we have had to endure. We can be the generation that turns the tide. The current social norm could become obsolete in our lifetime if we will take a stand!
Caleb and Ali live in East Tennessee where they serve at The Lift Church. With boldness and conviction, their deepest desire is to see the church revived and the world awakened. Learn more about The Lift by visiting theliftchurch.tv.
