Sex Before “I Do”
Let’s not kid ourselves. When you’ve found the person you want to spend the rest of your life with, you’re eager to share everything you have with them— including your body.
We’ve discovered this doesn’t get easier the longer you date. As a matter of fact, the closer we got to saying, “I do,” the more intentional we had to become about staying pure.
To answer the question plain and simple: No, it’s not ok to go further because you are dating the person you plan to one day marry.
Here are the three primary reasons why:
1. Sometimes plans change.
We’re not trying to ruin your party, but the reality is you could be wrong. You may wake up three months from now thinking, “Am I crazy? I can’t marry this person!” Pamela Paul noted in her article for Time magazine that 20% of engagements are called off before the wedding. That’s two out of every ten engagements that come to a screeching halt, not including “serious” relationships that ended before a proposal was even made.
If you give in now, what happens if things change later? You will face the regret of wishing you had waited to give yourself solely to your future husband or wife.
2. If it’s that serious, get married.
If you’re certain you’re with the person you are supposed to marry, stop waiting and go for it! Don’t try to fight an unnecessary battle. If you have the blessing of your parents and spiritual leaders then why hold back? Paul wrote:
“It’s better to marry than to burn with lust.”
1 Corinthians 7:9 (NLT)
If you’re battling sexual temptation with the person you are positive you are supposed to marry, the solution is not to give into impurity; it might very well be to just get married. Hey, we’re just echoing the apostle Paul!
3. It doesn’t change the Bible.
We saved the best for last. Above every other reason, as a believer, you should save sex for marriage simply on the basis of scripture. In his letter to the church of Corinth, Paul warns his readers to flee from sexual immorality. God will not ignore sexual impurity just because you plan to one day marry the person you’re dating. As we’ve already said, we know that sex is more tempting and seemingly more justifiable the closer you get to marriage; but it is not acceptable until you’ve come together in holy matrimony.
You’re Not Alone
If you are reading this and are battling the fires of temptation, just know you are not alone. More people than you’ll ever realize fight exactly what you are fighting right now. Some of the Bible’s greatest men fought this exact temptation. While you cannot excuse nor justify sin, you can find peace in knowing that you aren’t the only one who has ever walked this road.
We challenge you to pray about these points and really consider why going further with the person you plan to marry is still off limits. It may seem insurmountable during this phase of your relationship, but if you fight for purity now, you can live free of regret later.
If you fight for purity now, you can live free of regret later. Share on XThis blog is an excerpt from The Rules Of Romance Before Marriage
Source: Time. “Calling it Off.” Pamela Paul. http://www.time.com. Oct. 1, 2003.
Caleb and Ali live in East Tennessee where they serve at The Lift Church. With boldness and conviction, their deepest desire is to see the church revived and the world awakened. Learn more about The Lift by visiting theliftchurch.tv.
