As of today, June 12, 2016, I have been married to the most phenomenal woman for one year. A whole year! And it’s been amazing! We were told countless times by countless people that the first year would be terrible. I can’t begin to tell you how many times someone would go out of their way to tell us, “The first year is so bad, if you can make it through it, you can make it through anything.” However, for us, nothing could have been further from the truth. Our first year has been full of life and passion. Sure, we’ve had our moments, but this journey has been better than we could have ever imagined. There is a reason why everything has been such a success. Neither of us are perfect, though Ali is pretty close! Neither of us have it all together. We both have times of weakness and frustration. The secret to success really is no secret. We have simply listened to those who have been where we are, and applied the principles they gave us from their journey. Two of these people are our pastors, mentors, and spiritual parents—Keith and Margie Nix. Today they joined us in the AwakeningAM and shared from their experience in dating and marriage. What a wealth of knowledge and wisdom they are. After serving with them full time for the past few years, they still amaze me with the amount of revelation that just pours from them. They have lived this for many years, and now they’ve made it their highest aim to watch others succeed in life and in marriage. There was so much rich content that they shared, I could never relay it all. But if you are married, or plan to one day marry, here are three key takeaways from today’s discussion you must know:
1. Every great marriage is made up of two people that love someone else more than their spouse.
It may sound cliche. It may seem overstated, but it is the simple truth. If you are going to have a successful marriage, you must be more in love with Jesus than you are anyone else. This is the most essential part to any vibrant marriage. If you want your relationship to be vibrant and full of vitality, you’ve got to get it right in this area. The reality is simply that, until you love Jesus more than anyone else, you will never be able to love your spouse the way they deserve to be loved. The same is true in dating. Jesus must be first if you are going to date in a way that is pleasing to God. This is the core secret to every godly and successful relationship.
2. Every great marriage is built on the foundation of friendship.
One point that Pastors Keith and Margie took time to target today was the unrealistic expectations that our culture has painted for us in regards to love and marriage. If you want a happy, healthy marriage, you cannot afford to use your favorite movie or novel as your standard. Hollywood suggests that love is a mere romantic escapade, full of steamy moments. Your marriage will be a disaster if Hollywood sets the bar. Not every moment of life and marriage is going to look like it’s from a movie scene. This is why your relationship must be built on the foundation of friendship. When you face moments that are anything but romantic, the friendship you’ve found in that person will stand the test. We’re not devaluing romance, we’re just embracing the real value of friendship, and it’s ability to weather any storm.
3. Every great marriage is full of mercy and grace.
If you plan to have a long, prosperous marriage, this is a must. I’ll never forget Ali and I sitting in premarital counseling, listening to Pastors Keith and Margie explain to us that there would be moments in marriage where your spouse would push your last nerve. The things you once thought were cute may, one day, drive you crazy. If you don’t learn the power of mercy and grace, you might, quiet literally, explode! Ultimately, you’ve got to learn to laugh things off. Don’t take yourself too seriously. Realize that you and your spouse are both humans, mistakes are inevitable, and you’re going to come up short from time to time. So whether it’s from a busy day at work or just day to day tension, take it easy on your spouse. We cannot afford to undervalue the relationships that matter most.
Every successful relationship consist of these three components. Words could never express how thankful Ali and I are to be under such powerful teaching. We know we’ve got much to learn, and many areas still to grow, but thankfully, because of points such as these, we can avoid many of the pitfalls others have faced. Wether you’re single, dating, or married, take note of these principles. Your relationship doesn’t have to be on the brink of collapse. You can do things right and honor God in this most important relationship called “marriage”.
Caleb and Ali live in East Tennessee where they serve at The Lift Church. With boldness and conviction, their deepest desire is to see the church revived and the world awakened. Learn more about The Lift by visiting theliftchurch.tv.
