Question:
Do I Need an Accountability Partner?
This is one of the most essential ingredients of success in keeping your dating relationship pure.
In Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 (NKJV), King Solomon wrote, “Two are better than one,” and that, “. . . if they fall, one will lift up his companion. But woe to him who is alone when he falls, for he has no one to help him up.”
In our world, it’s not a matter of “if” you will be challenged with sexual promiscuity; it’s a matter of “when.” Despite the challenge, we firmly believe you have what it takes to fight and win!
The secret to living pure is keeping no secrets. Share on XThe secret to living pure is keeping no secrets. That’s where an accountability partner comes in. Do you have someone you can talk to regularly, openly, and honestly? If not, it’s time to find someone! There are three things every accountability partner must be able to do:
1. They must be able to show compassion.
“Be happy with those who are happy, and weep with those who weep.”
Romans 12:15 (NLT)
In pursuing a life of purity, you are certain to have ups and downs. The last thing you need, when you feel like you’ve blown it, is an egotistical accountability partner who can’t sympathize with you. Look for a leader who hurts when you hurt and rejoices when you rejoice.
While peers are important, we highly recommend finding an accountability partner who’s older, even if just by a few years—and here’s why.
Typically, they are a few steps ahead of you and have probably already been through the same struggles you are facing. If you find that your accountability partner can’t ever seem to relate to your struggles, you need to find someone else who can to assume that role. A good accountability partner is one who can see where you’re at and understand what you’re facing.
2. They must be able to give correction.
“If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over.”
Matthew 18:15 (NIV)
This is the least appealing, yet the most beneficial part of having a good accountability partner. Let’s be honest, sometimes the truth hurts. No one enjoys correction. It’s painful!
Lieutenant General Chesty Puller has been credited for the old saying: “Pain is weakness leaving the body.” This statement can certainly be applied to one’s pursuit of purity!
Look, with a good accountability partner, you will face moments that feel almost unbearable. They will say things that make you squirm, but you need someone in your life who makes your palms a little sweaty, someone who you could never look in the eyes and lie to.
Who do you have in your life that fills this description? If someone doesn’t immediately come to mind, for the sake of your purity, you had better get to looking!
3. They must be able to keep things confidential.
“A gossip goes around telling secrets, but those who are trustworthy can keep a confidence.”
Proverbs 11:13 (NLT)
Shouldn’t we all live with nothing to hide and nothing to prove? Yes, but everyone falls while they are learning to walk. It’s no different in the fight of purity. Regardless how far you’ve already gone or what you are currently struggling with, the greatest way to win the battle you are fighting in the dark is to bring it into the light. The only way to do this is by talking to someone.
As long as you conceal your struggle, you will have to fight the battle alone. Find someone of Godly character and integrity to be your accountability partner. You do not want someone in this position who will broadcast your weaknesses and mistakes to the world. Look for an individual who has a genuine “your secret is safe with me” mentality, and you’ll find that few things prove to be more beneficial on this journey.
The greatest way to win the battle you are fighting in the dark is to bring it into the light. Share on XIt All Boils Down To This…
Purity ultimately boils down to planning ahead. Unless you set up safety parameters in your life, an accident is almost inevitable. By submitting yourself to the evaluation of another, you are setting yourself up for success. That’s why you need an accountability partner. Take these three principles and find someone who can help you steer clear of jeopardizing your purity!
Purity ultimately boils down to planning ahead. Share on XThis blog is an excerpt from The Rules Of Romance Before Marriage
Caleb and Ali live in East Tennessee where they serve at The Lift Church. With boldness and conviction, their deepest desire is to see the church revived and the world awakened. Learn more about The Lift by visiting theliftchurch.tv.
