How Can My Date & I Stay Sexually Pure?
There are a million different things you can do to maintain purity in a relationship. Before we were married, everyone wanted to give us their two-cents worth on what does and doesn’t work prior to marriage. While much of the advice we were given helped tremendously, some of it was simply too much.
Our goal isn’t to make you feel like you have to live bogged down by some unattainable standard; our goal here is that you would be able to uphold purity no matter what you face. In our book, The Rules Of Romance Before Marriage, We chose the top ten things that worked for us. Here are three of the ten you and your date can immediately implement to stay on the right track.
1. Have a list of non-negotiables.
Everybody needs a list of non-negotiables in their life. What you will not do is just as important to your success as what you will do. A list of non-negotiables consists of things you’ve already predetermined to refrain from.
While we were teaching this series at our church, a young lady who was in a serious relationship came up to us afterwards and told us a few of her non-negotiables. At the time we were teaching this series, summer was full on and pool days were in full swing. One of her non-negotiables was that her boyfriend would not see her in a bathing suit until they were married, should their relationship progress. This is an awesome example of a non-negotiable.
What you will not do is just as important to your success as what you will do. Share on X2. No downtime.
When you have nothing to do, chances are you will do the wrong thing. Thankfully, we had a mentor who helped us avoid this disaster in our dating days.
As we were leaving church one Friday night he asked us, “You guys have any plans this weekend?” Casually, we responded, “Yeah, we’re probably just going to get together and hang out.” His face dropped as though we’d spoken profanities in the church sanctuary.
“What? Is something wrong?” we asked. He said, “Yeah, something’s wrong! If you’re getting together without a plan, you’re just asking for trouble.” He went on to explain the dangers of downtime in dating. From that point on, we were very intentional about making sure our time together had a purpose and a plan. If you are going to maintain your purity, you had better do the same.
3. Run for your life!
We had several moments, while dating, where we got dangerously close to crossing the line. You know, when you just happen to show up and there’s no one else home or a hug that felt too good to let go.
The list goes on and on.
What should you do when you find the moment getting the best of you?
You do “The Forrest Gump” and take off running. If you find yourself in a position you didn’t intend to be in, get as far away as you can, as quickly as you can. Don’t worry about giving an explanation. Don’t even worry about trying to be nice. Just get out of there! You can explain later, if necessary. What matters most in this situation is that you do whatever it takes to guard your purity. So, “Run, Forrest, run!”
Doing It Right
This is just three of the ten principles we give in our book! Go grab a copy by clicking here and we’ll do free shipping! These points are a strong start for any couple endeavoring to remain pure sexually in their relationship. We challenge you to apply these dating principles, and do it the right way!
Caleb and Ali live in East Tennessee where they serve at The Lift Church. With boldness and conviction, their deepest desire is to see the church revived and the world awakened. Learn more about The Lift by visiting theliftchurch.tv.
