Should I Take Back A Cheating Date?

I caught my date cheating. Should I take them back?

The opportunity to cheat has never been easier. It’s no longer just about what you do in person. With the rise of social media, most people are virtually accessible to anybody from anywhere.

This blessing comes with its curses. One, being that in the relationships that are formed online, there is little to no accountability. You can cheat on your significant other by the simple click of a mouse. This means that now more than ever transparency must be a non-negotiable trait in every relationship.

Are you the victim of someone’s unfaithfulness?

Whether it happened online or in person makes no difference. Cheating is cheating. When someone you care about betrays you, the pain you experience can seem unbearable.

So, now what?

Do you pretend it never happened and hope things go back to normal? Do you focus on the good and try to ignore the bad? Do you chalk it up as a mistake?

Regardless of the excuse they may give, know this: Cheating is not a mistake; it’s a choice.

Cheating is not a mistake. It’s a choice. Share on X

When children get caught doing something wrong, they immediately cry, trying to save face, “I’m sorry!” Have you ever seen this? It’s not uncommon to hear a frustrated mom or dad respond to their child by saying, “Are you sorry for what you did or are you sorry you got caught?”

When someone is caught cheating, they, like the child from the example, tend to show great remorse. Sadly, their sorrow is usually not because of what they did, but because they got caught. Typically, people who cheat, end up apologizing to someone who is emotionally vulnerable and brokenhearted. This is unfortunate because the one that was cheated on often accepts the apology and tries to move forward with the person who was caught cheating.

If you are facing this kind of situation, you need to know three things:

1. Trusting them will always be a chore.

Have you ever heard the phrase, “Out of sight, out of mind?” If you continue dating someone who has cheated on you, you will always be uncomfortable with them being out of your sight; and this can be taxing on your mind. You’ll find yourself paranoid with thoughts of them cheating again.

When trust in a relationship has been broken, it doesn’t heal easily. We always want to hope for the best. Yet, the truth is, if someone is cheating on you in dating, it’s unlikely they will remain faithful in marriage. The problems you are facing right now could be a warning sign of the danger that’s ahead if you continue on this road.

Our advice? Without question, if you have caught your date cheating, break it off and leave them behind.

2. You deserve better.

It’s not uncommon to face insecurities and feelings of inadequacies when you find out that you have been cheated on.

If you have been the victim of someone’s poor decision of unfaithfulness, you may have questioned your worth, asking questions like: “Am I not good enough?” or, “Am I not pretty enough?”

If you have had these thoughts, we need you to know something. Your worth is not determined by their decision. You are far too valuable to stay in a relationship that leaves you feeling inadequate and insecure. You deserve better! Don’t settle for a relationship that always leaves you feeling on the edge.

When you say, “Yes,” to someone who has been unfaithful to you in the past, you are saying, “No,” to someone who could genuinely treasure you in the future.

You don’t put real diamond rings in quarter machine toy cases, and neither should someone of value be surrounded by something so cheap. You are worth more than a cheap, unfaithful date!

3. You could become overtly jealous.

When you continually battle the fear of being cheated on, you fall into a dangerous trap. If this kind of insecurity exists, every time someone so much as looks toward your date, you’ll interpret it as flirting. This gets real old real quick.

Do you really want to live your life feeling like the only way to keep your significant other from being unfaithful is by putting them on a leash? Do you want to feel obligated to “claim your property” every time the two of you are around others?

As miserable as this sounds, there are countless individuals who live like this day-in and day-out for one simple reason: They are afraid the person who cheated on them before will cheat on them again.

If you are in this kind of relationship, don’t get stuck. A healthy relationship is possible! If you are battling intense jealousy, always trying to claim what’s yours, it’s time to move on!

For The Cheaters

If you have been on the other side of this scenario, where you have been the one cheating, dating isn’t for you. You can’t go from person to person, toying with their hearts and emotions. Until you have enough respect, not just for your date but for yourself, you have no business trying to get into a relationship.

On the other hand, if you have blown it and genuinely regret it, we’ve got good news. There is hope! There are three crucial steps to moving forward.

First, repent. Ask God to forgive you for living in a way that is not pleasing to Him.

Second, apologize to the person you cheated on. This will no doubt be uncomfortable. You are not apologizing to restore the relationship. The relationship is done. You are apologizing because you messed up.

The final step is making a quality commitment to yourself before God, that you will never cross that line again.

When you truly value yourself and others, the idea of cheating on your date has no appeal. Your name is too valuable. If you are going to date, make sure you do it right. Don’t run your name through the mud by succumbing to an opportunity that is below your character.

Even more so, as a believer, you are carrying a name far greater than your own and far greater than your date’s. You are carrying the name of Christ. Make sure you carry His name well.

This blog is an excerpt from The Rules Of Romance Before Marriage.